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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Quotations from Famous People - 79
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Earl Warren
The fantastic advances in the field of communication constitute a grave danger to the privacy of the individual.
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Sir Richard F. Burton
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself
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Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
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English Proverb
One boy is more trouble that a dozen girls.
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Miles Davis
Sometimes you have to play for a long time to be able to play like yourself.
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Gertrude Stein
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.
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Albert Camus
Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is.
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Baruch Spinoza
Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice.
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Lucretius
What came from the earth returns back to the earth, and the spirit that was sent from heaven, again carried back, is received into the temple of heaven.
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Joyce Carol Oates
When you're 50 you start thinking about things you haven't thought about before. I used to think getting old was about vanity-but actually it's about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.
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Jackie Mason
By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
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