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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Quotations from Famous People - 62
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
God could cause us considerable embarrassment by revealing all the secrets of nature to us we should not know what to do for sheer apathy and boredom.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
When you first start wearing a turban, probably the most common mistake is wrapping it too tight. You have to allow the head to breathe.
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Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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Ted Turner, A speech to the McCallie School in Chattanooga, TN
Hell, we spent $200 Billion to get a scared guy who needed a shave out of a fox-hole! And he may even die of prostate cancer before we even get a chance to try him, dammit!
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Calvin Trillin
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
If eyes were made for seeing, Then Beauty is its own excuse for being.
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Lois McMaster Bujold
A tactical retreat is not a bad response to a surprise assault, you know. First you survive. Then you choose your own ground. Then you counterattack.
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Philip Saltier
Americans become unhappy and vicious because their preoccupation with amassing possessions obliterates their loneliness. This is why production in America seems to be on such an endless upward spiral: every time we buy something we deepen our emotional deprivation and hence our need to buy something.
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Aesop
Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.
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George Bernard Shaw
We don't stop playing because we grow old we grow old because we stop playing.
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Louis Armstrong
What we play is life.
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Frank Moore Colby
Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.
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