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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Quotations from Famous People - 54
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Eric Hoffer
To grow old is to grow common. Old age equalizes - we are aware that what is happening to us has happened to untold numbers from the beginning of time. When we are young we act as if we were the first young people in the world.
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English Proverb
A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart, his next to escape the censures of the world.
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Henry Miller
How different the new order would be if we could consult the veteran instead of the politician.
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John Saul
Ideology is a form of illiteracy. Those addicted to it are unable to understand anything other than what fits their pattern.
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Groucho Marx
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Henry David Thoreau
Let your life be a counter friction to stop the machine.
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Leon Battista Alberti
A man can do all things if he but wills them.
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Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
Lactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.
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Mencius, Works
Men must be decided on what they will not do, and then they are able to act with vigor in what they ought to do.
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Abraham Lincoln
We are not enemies but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic cords of memory shall swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of nature.
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John Stuart Mill
Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness: on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming at something else, they find happiness by the way.
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Aesop
It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.
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