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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Quotations from Famous People - 49
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Robert Browning
Ignorance is not innocence but sin.
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Pearl Bailey
We must change in order to survive.
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Joseph Roux
We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
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Richard Whately
A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune.
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Jerry Garcia
What's been great about the human race gives you a sense of how great you might get, how far you can reach.
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Samuel Johnson
Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.
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Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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Thomas Jefferson
It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation, which give happiness.
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Clive Staples Lewis
Prosperity knits a man to the world. He thinks he's 'finding his place in it,' while really it is finding its place in him.
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Maya Angelou
When you learn, teach. When you get, give.
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Franklin Delano Roosevelt
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
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Lydia Maria Child
Over the river and through the wood, To grandfather's house we go The horse knows the way To carry the sleigh, Through the white and drifted snow.
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