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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Quotations from Famous People - 70

Real Live Preacher

The universe seems wondrous to me, with or without God. It has powerful lines and uncompromising ways. Patience and time sit like sages on the planets, strong and impersonal. There is a stark beauty to all of this.


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William Shakespeare, Venus & Adonis

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else.


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Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.


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Al Capp

Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.


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Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

I exist as I am, that is enough.


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Richard Bach

The bonds that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.


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Clive Staples Lewis

The perfect church service would be the one we were almost unaware of our attention would have been on God. But every novelty prevents this. It fixes our attention on the service itself and thinking about worship is a different thing than worshipping ... 'Tis mad idolatry that makes the service greater than the god.


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G. K. Chesterton

The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.


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Thornton Wilder

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.


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William E. Channing

Most joyful the Poet be; It is through him that all men see.


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Seneca

Be not too hasty either with praise or blame; speak always as though you were giving evidence before the judgement-seat of the Gods.


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Ralph W. Sockman

Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength.



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