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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Quotations from Famous People - 60
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Henry Ward Beecher
Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins.
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G. K. Chesterton
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
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Albert Einstein
I want to know Gods thoughts.... all the rest are just details
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Abraham Lincoln, (attributed)
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
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Native American
The Great Spirit, when He made earth, never intended that it should be made merchandise.
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Roger von Oech
Remember the two benefits of failure. First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach.
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Zig Ziglar
If you pump casually, you will pump forever. Pump hard to begin with and keep it up until you get that water flowing. Then a great deal will happen.
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Victor Hugo
So different are the colours of life, as we look forward to the future, or backward to the past and so different the opinions and sentiments which this contrariety of appearance naturally produces, that the conversation of the old and young ends generally with contempt or pity on either side.
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Albert Camus
I sometimes think of what future historians will say of us. A single sentence will suffice for modern man he fornicated and read the papers.
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George-Louis Leclerc de Buffon
Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience.
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Joe Murray
Marriage should be a duet -- when one sings, the other claps.
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Robert Frost
Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense.
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