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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Quotations from Famous People - 61
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Anonymous
Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
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Samuel Johnson
He is a benefactor of mankind who contracts the great rules of life into short sentences, that may be easily impressed on the memory, and so recur habitually to the mind.
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Epictetus
All philosophy lies in two words Sustain and Abstain.
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Maxine Waters
I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry.
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Emily Dickinson
A little Madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King.
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Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst? Verily, when good is hungry is seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts it drinks even of dead waters.
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Mae West
I feel like a million tonight --- but one at a time.
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Steven Wright
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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George Bernard Shaw
Life does not cease to be funny when people die; any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
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Miguel de Cervantes
Be brief, for no discourse can please when too long.
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Alexander Hamilton, Loth, Dave, Alexander Hamilton, Portrait of a Prodigy, Rahway, Carrick & Evans, Inc., 1939
The same state of the passions which fits the multitude, who have not sufficient stock of reason and knowledge to guide them, for opposition to tyranny and oppression, very naturally leads them to a contempt and disregard of all authority.
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Alexander Pope
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
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