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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Quotations from Famous People - 107
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Hippocrates, Epidemics
As to diseases make a habit of two things - to help, or at least, to do no harm.
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G. M. Trevelyan, English Social History (1942)
Disinterested intellectual curiosity is the life blood of real civilization.
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P. J. O\'Rourke
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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Seneca
Unjust dominion cannot be eternal.
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David Havard
Most of us have been taught about the need to appropriate by faith what is already ours through grace. We all desire to have more joy in our Christian life. The keys to experiencing joy are available to all of us. We need to understand the gospel of the grace of God as revealed to the Apostle Paul. Then as we put Paul's instructions into practice, we will come to know God experientially. This will cause us to know Him better which will cause us to want to obey more, and on and on it goes. Then as we learn and obey God and become focused on spiritual things instead of earthly things, we will become thankful for everything that God has provided for us in Christ. Knowledge, obedience, and thankfulness will then lead to abundant joy in our everyday life In the words of the old hymn Trust and obey, For there's no other way, To be happy in Jesus, But to trust and obey.
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Austin Powers International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers Do I make you horny Randy Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I
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William Carlos Williams
In summer, the song sings itself.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind... War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today.
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Robert Benchley
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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Chinese Proverb
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.
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Stirling Moss
I was taught that everything is attainable if you are prepared to give up, to sacrifice, to get it. Whatever you want to do, you can do it, if you want it badly enough, and I do believe that. I believe that if I wanted to run a mile is four minutes I could do it. I would have to give up everything else in my life, but I could run a mile in four minutes. I believe that if a man wanted to walk on water and was prepared to give up everything else in life, he could do that
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Noel Coward
I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.
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