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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Quotations from Famous People - 120

Francois Fenelon

If we were faultless we should not be so much annoyed by the defects of those with whom we associate.


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Robert Benchley

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.


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Henry Fielding

If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil.


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Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Old people like to give good advice, as solace for no longer being able to provide bad examples.


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Horace

Happy the man, and happy he alone, He who can call today his own He who secure within can say Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.


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Jesus Christ, Matthew 16:26

What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and yet loses his soul?


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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Look well into thyself there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.


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John Kenneth Galbraith

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.


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Charles E. Jefferson

Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies.


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Eleanor Hamilton

A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly, unless you want to hurt the giver.


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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.


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Pierre Corneille

When we conquer without danger our triumph is without glory.



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