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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Quotations from Famous People - 81
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Erma Bombeck
A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory an empty gin bottle.
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Thomas Paine
It is the duty of every patriot to protect his country from its government.
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Salvador Dali
It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself.
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Lucius Accius
Let them hate so long as they fear.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.
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Vincent Van Gogh
I wish they would only take me as I am.
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E.V. Lucas
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
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Nathaniel Hawthorne
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits.
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Sophia Loren
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
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John Dryden, Absalom and Achitophel (1681)
Beware the fury of a patient man.
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Thomas H. Huxley
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
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William J. H. Boetcker
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
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