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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Quotations from Famous People - 73
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Richard Baxter
He is not drowning His sheep when He washeth them, nor killing them when He is shearing them. But by this He showeth that they are His own and the newshorn sheep do most visibly bear His name or mark, when it is almost worn out and scarce discernible on them that have the longest fleece.
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Albert Einstein, Observer, Jan. 15, 1950
If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is a festival only to the wise.
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John Holt
...since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to learn whatever needs to be learned.
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William S. Burroughs
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say I want to see the manager.
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Winnie the Pooh
For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and big words Bother me.
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Benjamin Disraeli
He is a self-made man, very much in love with his creator.
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Franoise d\'Aubign Maintenon
There is an important difference between love and friendship. While the former delights in extremes and opposites, the latter demands equality.
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John Herro
An elephant is a mouse, built to government specifications.
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Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
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Hiram Powers
Educate the heart -- educate the heart. Let us have good men.
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Yogi Berra
No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded.
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