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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Quotations from Famous People - 125
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Henry Louis Mencken
A sound American is simply one who has put out of his mind all doubts and questionings, and who accepts instantly, and as incontrovertible gospel, the whole body of official doctrine of his day, whatever it may be and no matter how often it may change. The instant he challenges it, no matter how timorously and academically, he ceases by that much to be a loyal and creditable citizen of the republic.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have.
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Rollo May
The neurotic and the artist - since both live out the unconscious of the race - reveal to us what is going to emerge endemically in the society later on.
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George Du Maurier
Sick I am of idle words, past all reconciling, Words that weary and perplex and pander and conceal, Wake the sounds that cannot lie, for all their sweet beguiling The language one need fathom not, but only hear and feel.
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Thomas a Kempis
First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.
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Marcus Aelius Aurelius
How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks.
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Swahili proverb
There are three things which if one does not know, one cannot live long in the world: what is too much for one, what is too little for one, and what is just right for one.
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Diana Rankin
Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be. It takes twenty years of hard work to become an overnight success.
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Edgar Watson Howe
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had and never will have.
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Oliver Goldsmith
Ill fares the land, to hast'ning ill a prey, Where wealth accumulates, and men decay Princes and Lords may flourish, or may fade A breath can make them, as a breath has made but a bold peasantry, their country's pride, When once destroyed can never be supplied.
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Plutarch
An old doting fool, with one foot already in the grave.
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Cyril Connolly
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
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