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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Quotations from Famous People - 86
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Scottish Proverb
A bad wound may heal, but a bad name will kill.
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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 2
He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again.
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Christopher Morley
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.
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Ovid, Amorum, Book 2, 19, 3
What is allowed us is disagreeable, what is denied us causes us intense desire.
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Robert Collier
You can do anything you think you can. This knowledge is literally the gift of the gods, for through it you can solve every human problem. It should make of you an incurable optimist. It is the open door.
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Kingsley Amis, One Fat Englishman (1963)
Outside every fat man there was an even fatter man trying to close in.
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Tim Bedore
Do Not Disturb signs should be written in the language of the hotel maids.
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Edward Irving Koch
If you don't like the president, it costs you 90 bucks to fly to Washington to picket. If you don't like the governor, it costs you 60 bucks to fly to Albany to picket. If you don't like me, 90 cents.
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Leontyne Price, O Magazine, December 2003
I am here and you will know that I am the best and will hear me.
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Charles Barkley
The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.
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Rosalene Glickman, Ph.D., Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self
Your purpose in relationships is simply to be your best self, regardless of the circumstances.
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Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
You are beautiful, but you are empty. One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered.
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