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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Quotations from Famous People - 50
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Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Friedrich Neitzsche
He who fights monsters should look into it that he himself does not become a monster. When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you.
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Thomas Carlyle
Talk that does not end in any kind of action is better suppressed altogether.
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Dodie Smith
I have found that sitting in a place that you have never sat before can be inspiring.
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Benjamin Franklin
Those disputing, contradicting, and confuting people are generally unfortunate in their affairs. They get victory, sometimes, but they never get good will, which would be of more use to them.
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Dave Barry
Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.
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Jack London
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
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Jean de La Fontaine
Nothing is so dangerous as an ignorant friend A wise enemy is worth more.
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General Douglas Macarthur
Americans never quit.
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Plato, Dialogues, Apology
No evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death.
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Robert Half
What happens when the future has come and gone
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German proverb
It's not that age brings childhood back again, Age merely shows what children we remain.
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