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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Quotations from Famous People - 84
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William Shakespeare, Richard III, V.iii
I shall despair. There is no creature loves me; And if I die no soul will pity me:
And wherefore should they, since that I myself
Find in myself no pity to myself?
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Bhagavad Gita
Meditation is not for him who eats too much, nor for him who eats not at all not for him who is over much addicted to sleep, nor for him who is always awake.
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Albert Schweitzer
The African is my brother-but he is my younger brother by several centuries.
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Saint Augustine
God does not give heed to the ambitiousness of our prayers, because he is always ready to give to us his light, not a visible light but an intellectual and spiritual one but we are not always ready to receive it when we turn aside and down to other things out of a desire for temporal things.
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George Sands
Vanity is the quicksand of reason.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever I open a door, I pull on the doorknob real hard, because isn't there a saying that if it comes off in your hand, you can rear back and throw it as hard as you can I thought I heard that somewhere.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Anyone can stop a man's life, but no one his death a thousand doors open on to it. - Phoenissae
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Douglas Noel Adams
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
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Stephen King
The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window.
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Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
Thoughts are tyrants that return again and again to torment us.
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Jacob Bigelow
Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside yourself.
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Albert Einstein
There was this huge world out there, independent of us human beings and standing before us like a great, eternal riddle, at least partly accessible to our inspection and thought. The contemplation of that world beckoned like a liberation.
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