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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotations - 176
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Benjamin Franklin
He that is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else.
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Epicurus
The man least dependent upon the morrow goes to meet the morrow most cheerfully.
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Tony Kushner
What used to be called liberal is now called radical, what used to be called radical is now called insane, what used to be called reactionary is now called moderate, and what used to be called insane is now called solid conservative thinking.
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Laurence J. Peter
Real, constructive mental power lies in the creative thought that shapes your destiny, and your hour-by-hour mental conduct produces power for change in your life. Develop a train of thought on which to ride. The nobility of your life as well as your happiness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going.
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Tony Blair, Speech to the Labor Party Conference 3 October 1995
instead of wasting hundreds of millions of pounds on compulsory ID cards as the Tory Right demand, let that money provide thousands of extra police officers on the beat in our local communities.
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Isak Dinesen, (Karen Blixen)
I belong to an ancient, idle, wild, and useless tribe... I am a storyteller.
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William Shakespeare
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying Nothing.
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James Joyce
History is a nightmare from which we are trying to awaken.
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Alfred North Whitehead
I have suffered a great deal from writers who have quoted this or that sentence of mine either out of its context or in juxtaposition to some incongruous matter which quite distorted my meaning , or destroyed it altogether.
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Anonymous
A closed mind is a good thing to lose.
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Dwight D Eisenhower
People in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than governments.
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Abraham Lincoln
Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
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