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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humour Random Short Quotations - 74

Dick Gregory

Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.


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Aristophanes

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.


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W. C. Sellar

For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn--much.


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William Bolitho

You need more fact in the dangerous art of giving presents than in any other social action.


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John Burroughs

The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think.


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Henry Louis Mencken

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.


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Jeremy Bernstein

Never speak more clearly than you think.


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Aesop

In critical moments even the very powerful have need of the weakest.


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G. M. Trevelyan

The best historian is he who combines knowledge of the evidence with the largest intellect, the warmest human sympathy and the highest imaginative powers.


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George Bernard Shaw

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.


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E. V. Lucas

One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.


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Erica Jong

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.



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