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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 80
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F. Scott Fitzgerald
At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide.
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Epictetus
No man is free who is not master of himself.
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Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Helping the Girls with their Income Taxes"
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
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Clare Booth Luce
Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
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Carl Jung
We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
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Samuel Johnson
There will always be a part, and always a very large part of every community, that have no care but for themselves, and whose care for themselves reaches little further than impatience of immediate pain, and eagerness for the nearest good.
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Norman Juster
You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.
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Herodotus
Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.
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Vicomte de Valmont
What then have I done What, except yield to a natural feeling, inspired by beauty, sanctioned by virtue and kept at all times within the bounds of respect. It's innocent expression prompted not by hope but by trust.
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Robert Lynd
There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before.
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Donald H. Rumsfeld, US Secretary of Defense
If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
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Benjamin Disraeli
I repeat...that all power is a trust that we are accountable for its exercise that from the people, and for the people all springs, and all must exist.
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