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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotations - 96
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Robert Frost, "The Death of a Hired Man"
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
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Desiderius Erasmus
Our determination to imitiate Christ should be such that we have no time for other matters.
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Jane Howard, "Families"
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
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Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Genius - To know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
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Denis Diderot
A thing is not proved just because no one has ever questioned it. What has never been gone into impartially has never been properly gone into. Hence scepticism is the first step toward truth. It must be applied generally, because it is the touchstone.
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Thomas J. Watson
Man has made some machines that can answer questions provided the facts are profusely stored in them, but we will never be able to make a machine that will ask questions. The ability to ask the right question is more than half the battle of finding the answer.
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Robert Louis Stephenson
There is so much good in the worst of us, an so much bad in the best of us, that it behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us.
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G. K. Chesterton
If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.
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Dame Rebecca West
Before a war, military science seems a real science, like astronomy. After a war it seems more like astrology.
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George Washington
As Mankind becomes more liberal, they will be more apt to allow that all those who conduct themselves as worthy members of the community are equally entitled to the protections of civil government. I hope ever to see America among the foremost nations of justice and liberality.
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Naguib, Mahfouz
Happy is he who can give himself up.
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Louis-Hector Berlioz
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
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