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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 200
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Homer
The gods, likening themselves to all kinds of strangers, go in various disguises from city to city, observing the wrongdoing and the righteousness of men.
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Unknown
A friend is someone who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts what you've become and still gently invites you to grow.
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Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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Norman Cousins
What was significant about the laughter . . . was not just the fact that it provides internal exercise for a person . . .a form of jogging for the innards, but that it creates a mood in which the other positive emotions can be put to work, too.
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Bob Dylan
Money doesn't talk, it swears.
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Jeannette Rankin
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
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Frederick L Collins
There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, Well, here I am! and those who come in and say, Ah, there you are.
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Katherine Cebrian
I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
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Henry Van Dyke
Use what talent you possess the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.
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Janet Louise Holman
When in the pursuit of happiness Obstacles cross our way, When all seems lost And there is a darkening of the day. Remember God in His heaven And it does not cost to call. We'll find despite our troubles We've been blessed after all.
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William Stekel
The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.
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Saint Francis of Assisi
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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