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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 90
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William Shakespeare, "Much Ado about Nothing", Act 2 scene 1
Friendship is constant in all other things Save in the office and affairs of love: Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues; Let every eye negotiate for itself And trust no agent.
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John Kenneth Galbraith
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
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John A. Dix
If anyone attempts to hall down the American flag shoot him on the spot.
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Dave Barry
I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.
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Henry Miller
In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most difficult way is, in the long run, the easiest.
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Vernon Howard
You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.
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Oscar Wilde
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
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Unknown
To believe God is a Privilege, To doubt God is an insult.
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Charles Caleb Colton
We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine but if we defer tasting them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.
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Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
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Frederick L Collins
There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'
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Alfred Hitchcock
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
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