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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Random Quotations - 86

William Safire

No one flower can ever symbolize this nation. America is a bouquet.


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Henry Clay

All legislation, all government, all society is founded upon the principle of mutual concession, politeness, comity, courtesy; upon these everything is based...Let him who elevates himself above humanity, above its weaknesses, its infirmities, its wants, its necessities, say, if he pleases, I will never compromise; but let no one who is not above the frailties of our common nature disdain compromises.


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Robert Jordan

The only thing sadder than a battle won is a battle lost.


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William Makepeace Thackeray

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.


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William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, 1697, act III scene 8

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.


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Homer

At last is Hector stretch'd upon the plain,Who fear'd no vengeance for Patroclus slainThen, Prince You should have fear'd, what now you feelAchilles absent was Achilles stillYet a short space the great avenger stayed,Then low in dust thy strength and glory laid.


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Mary Wortley Montagu

There is no remedy so easy as books, which if they do not give cheerfulness, at least restore quiet to the most troubled mind.


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Caldwell O\'Keefe

I never have found the perfect quote. At best I have been able to find a string of quotations which merely circle the ineffable idea I seek to express.


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Jeb Stuart Magruder

I know what I have done, and Your Honor knows what I have done. ... Somewhere between my ambition and my ideals, I lost my ethical compass.


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Edward Wallis Hoch, Marion (Kansas) Record

There is so much good in the worst of us, And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly behooves any of us
To talk about the rest of us.


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Danish Proverb

A good example is like a bell that calls many to church.


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Socrates

Do not do to others what angers you if done to you by others.



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