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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Quotations - 122
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Eduard Hanslick
The prelude to Tristan and Isolde reminds me of the Italian painting of the martyr whose intestines are slowly being unwound from his body on a reel.
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Jerry Della Femina
I'm hard-nosed about luck. I think it sucks. Yeah, if you spend seven years looking for a job as a copywriter, and then one day somebody gives you a job, you can say, Gee, I was lucky I happened to go up there today. But, dammit, I was going to go up there sooner or later in the next seventy years. If you're persistent in trying and doing and working, you almost make your own fortune.
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Coleman Cox
Keeping your clothes well pressed will keep you from looking hard pressed.
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John F. Kennedy, "A Thousand Days," by Arthur Schlesinger Jr. [1965]
Who can tell who will be the President a year from now? -- John F. Kennedy, speaking to the president of Harvard about why he did not want to delay signing documents relating to a future JFK Presidential Library, 2 October 1963.
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Confucius
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
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Whitney Balliett
A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.
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Dante Alighieri
O human race born to fly upward, wherefore at a little wind dost thou fall.
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Confucius
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
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George
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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Rodney Dangerfield, monologue
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Michael J. Gelb
Brain researchers estimate that your unconscious database outweighs the conscious on an order exceeding ten million to one. This database is the source of your hidden, natural genius. In other words, a part of you is much smarter than you are. The wise people regularly consult that smarter part.
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Abraham Lincoln
The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
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