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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Short Quotations - 1
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Child Age 13
I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
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Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.
Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!
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Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
Only a novel... in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour are conveyed to the world in the best chosen language.
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C. S. Lewis
The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.
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Marlon Brando
Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse. It's a bum's life. The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis.
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Jean Baptiste Poquelin Molire
Oh, how fine it is to know a thing or two.
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James Thurber
Early to rise and early to bed Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead
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John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Knowing is not enough we must apply. Willing is not enough we must do.
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Benoit Mandelbrot
Science would be ruined if (like sports) it were to put competition above everything else, and if it were to clarify the rules of competition by withdrawing entirely into narrowly defined specialties. The rare scholars who are nomads-by-choice are essential to the intellectual welfare of the settled disciplines.
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Robert Browning
I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists.
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Roald Dahl
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
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