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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotations - 30
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Oscar Wilde
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
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Peter T. McIntyre
Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.
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Jean Jacques Rousseau
As soon as any man says of the affairs of the State What does it matter to me? the State may be given up for lost.
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Dorothy L. Sayers
A human being must have occupation if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.
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German Proverb
God gives, but man must open his hand.
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Nero Wolfe
I try to know what I need to know. I make sure to know what I want to know.
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William Hazlitt
Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labor in it, but they labor in it because they excel.
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Lucille Ball
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
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Woody Allen
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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Christopher Zeeman
Technical skill is mastery of complexity, while creativity is mastery of simplicity.
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Publilius Syrus
Pardon one offense, and you encourage the commission of many.
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Sidney Madwed
You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. No one is really responsible to make someone else happy, no matter what most people have been taught and accept as true.
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