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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Short Quotations - 82
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Carl Sandburg, Cornhuskers (1918) "Prairie"
I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes.
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Francis Beaumont
Let us have a care not to disclose our hearts to those who shut up theirs against us.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don't even care, do you.
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Charles Dickens
A merry Christmas to everybody A happy New Year to all the world
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Thucyclides
Of all manifestations of power, restraint impresses men the most.
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Euripides
For with slight efforts how should we obtain great results It is foolish even to desire it.
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Agnes Repplier
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
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Napoleon Bonaparte
He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.
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Joseph Addison
If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
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Paula Poundstone, HBO stand-up routine
They say that the wages of sin is death. But after taxes its just a tired feeling really.
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John Quincy Adams, last words, 21 February 1848.
This is the last of earth! I am content.
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Andrew S. Tanenbaum
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
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