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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Silly Random Short Quotations - 82

Carl Sandburg, Cornhuskers (1918) "Prairie"

I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes.


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Francis Beaumont

Let us have a care not to disclose our hearts to those who shut up theirs against us.


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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don't even care, do you.


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Charles Dickens

A merry Christmas to everybody A happy New Year to all the world


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Thucyclides

Of all manifestations of power, restraint impresses men the most.


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Euripides

For with slight efforts how should we obtain great results It is foolish even to desire it.


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Agnes Repplier

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.


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Napoleon Bonaparte

He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.


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Joseph Addison

If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.


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Paula Poundstone, HBO stand-up routine

They say that the wages of sin is death. But after taxes its just a tired feeling really.


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John Quincy Adams, last words, 21 February 1848.

This is the last of earth! I am content.


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Andrew S. Tanenbaum

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.



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