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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Random Quotations - 156

John Wooden

You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.


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Simone de Beauvoir

I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for the truth; and truth rewarded me.


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George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.


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Phil Condit

None of us is as smart as all of us.


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Archibald Alexander

Nature never makes any blunders, when she makes a fool she means it.


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Unknown

The only bad thing about keeping on burning your bridges Behind you, is that the world is round..


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Honore de Balzac

This coffee plunges into the stomach...the mind is aroused, and ideas pour forth like the battalions of the Grand Army on the field of battle.... Memories charge at full gallop...the light cavalry of comparisons deploys itself magnificently; the artillery of logic hurry in with their train of ammunition; flashes of wit pop up like sharp-shooters.


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Legal Proverb

In case of doubt it is best to lean to the side of mercy.


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Simone Weil

Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but people capable of giving them their attention.


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Mark Twain

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?


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Richard Milhous Nixon

I had never expected that the China initiative would come to fruition in the form of a Ping-Pong team. (On first friendly overture by People's Republic of China)


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Albert Camus

Integrity has no need of rules.



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