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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Quotations - 74
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Anonymous
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
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James Abbott McNeill Whistler
Two and two continue to make four, in spite of the whine of the ameteur for three, or the cry of the critc for five. (from Whistler vs. Ruskin, 1878)
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Anthony Brandt
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.
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Thomas Huxley
Science ... warns me to be careful how I adopt a view which jumps with my preconceptions, and to require stronger evidence for such belief than for one to which I was previously hostile. My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonize with my aspirations.
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G.K. Chesterton
Nowadays a citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that the fine is generally much lighter.
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Bruce Grocott
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
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Friedrich Nietzsche
How good bad music and bad reasons sound when one marches against an enemy!
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Zimbabwean Proverb
If you can walk you can dance, if you can talk you can sing.
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G. K. Chesterton, Defendant (1901)
Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity.
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John Lancaster Spalding
Leave each one his touch of folly it helps to lighten life's burden which, if he could see himself as he is, might be too heavy to carry.
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Judith Martin, (Miss Manners)
What you have when everyone wears the same playclothes for all occasions, is addressad by nickname, expected to participate in Show And Tell, and bullied out of any desire form privacy, is not democracy; it is kindergarten.
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Aaron Burr
Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.
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