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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotations - 89
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Terry Pratchett, Jingo
It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely ignored.
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Seneca
It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.
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George Bernard Shaw
The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
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Ben Sweetland
We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own.
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Robert Green Ingersoll
Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity.
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Menander, Lady of Andros
Riches cover a multitude of woes.
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Samuel Johnson
No man is a hypocrite in his pleasures.
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Katherine Paterson, The Spying Heart, 1989
Thus, in a real sense, I am constantly writing autobiography, but I have to turn it into fiction in order to give it credibility.
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Unknown
Lie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.
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Michelle Shocked
Making music should not be left to the professionals.
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Sun-Tzu
A military operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective.
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Raymond Holliwell
Desire creates the power.
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