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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotations - 106
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Epictetus
The good or ill of a man lies within his own will.
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George Eliot
Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
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Calvin Coolidge, in a telegram, 1919
There is no right to strike against the public safety by anybody, anywhere, any time.
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Cesar E. Chavez
The end of all education should surely be service to others.
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Unknown
It is impossible to better yourself if you do not know what it means to be better.
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Lawrence K. Frank
We are living the events which for centuries to come will be minutely studied by scholars who will undoubtedly describe these days as probably the most exciting and creative in the history of mankind. But preoccupied with our daily chores, our worries and personal hopes and ambitions, few of us are actually living in the present.
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Dan Seligman
A raise is like a martini it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily.
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Robert Heinlein, The voice of Lazarus Long
Specialization is for insects.
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Carl Sandburg
Arithmetic is where the answer is right and everything is nice and you can look out of the window and see the blue sky -- or the answer is wrong and you have to start over and try again and see how it comes out this time.
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Frank Sinatra
When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.
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Mae West, Klondike Annie (1936 film)
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
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Yugoslav Proverb
A good rest is half the work.
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