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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotations - 45
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Sir Winston Churchill
The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.
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Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999
Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives.
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Helen Keller
When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
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Ralph W. Sockman
Good habits, which bring our lower passions and appetites under automatic control, leave our natures free to explore the larger experiences of life. Too many of us divide and dissipate our energies in debating actions which should be taken for granted.
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Dorothy C. Fisher
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
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Phillip K. Dick
Reality is that which refuses to go away when I stop believing in it.
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Clint Eastwood, Movie: "A Fistful of Dollars," 1964
Once a man has some money, peace begins to sound good to him.
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William Shakespeare, Henry V
When lenity and cruelty play for a kingdom, the gentler gamester is the soonest winner.
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Donnie Brasco
Lefty When they send for you, you go in alive, you come out dead, and it's your best friend that does it.
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Dwight D. Eisenhower
I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.
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Henry Ward Beecher
Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven.
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Georges Bernanos, "Why Freedom?" The Last Essays of Georges Bernanos, 1955
The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.
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