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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funny Random Short Quotations - 81

Lester R Bittel

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.


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Joe Orton

I'd the upbringing a nun would envy and that's the truth. Until I was fifteen I was more familiar with Africa than my own body.


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Phyllis Theroux, in House Beautiful Magazine

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.


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Baltasar Gracian

Do pleasant things yourself, but unpleasant things through others.


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George Herbert Allen

People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.


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Godfather, The

Tessio It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.


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Josh Billings

Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.


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Baron Patrick Maynard Stuart Blackett

Don't set your wit against a child.


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Immanuel Kant

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.


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J. Michael Straczynski

No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years, we will be free.


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Bob Ross

We don't make mistakes here, we just have happy accidents. - from the Joy of Painting


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Eric Hoffer

Our achievements speak for themselves. What we have to keep track of are our failures, discouragements and doubts. We tend to forget the past difficulties, the many false starts, and the painful groping. We see our past achievements as the end results of a clean forward thrust, and our present difficulties as signs of decline and decay.



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