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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotations - 39
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Unknown
Words lead to deeds.... They prepare the soul, make it ready, and move it to tenderness.
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Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.
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David Van Boom
Life is simply the pursuit of something worth dying for.
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Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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Marcus Tullius Cicero
I am not ashamed to confess that I am ignorant of what I do not know.
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Georges Clemenceau
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.
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John Updike
Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart.
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Jean Giraudoux
A golf course is the epitome of all that is transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.
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Bob Allisat
To pull together is to avoid being pulled apart.
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Epictetus
The good or ill of a man lies within his own will.
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Friedrich von Schlegel
The historian is a prophet in reverse.
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Ayn Rand
It is not advisable, James, to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener.
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