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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Short Quotations - 107
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Bertolt Brecht
Righteous people have no sense of humor.
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Benjamin Franklin
The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse.
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Benjamin Franklin
No nation was ever ruined by trade.
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Thomas De Quincey, Murder Considered as One of the Fine Arts - 1827
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
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George Santayana
To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood.
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G. C. Lichtenberg
There are people who think that everything one does with a serious face is sensible.
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Marcus Tullius Cicero
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
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Robert Benchley
Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
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Barry Neil Kaufman
To a talkative woman Madam, don't you have any unexpressed thoughts
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Gore Vidal
The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.
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Mohammed Reza Pahlavi
My main mistake was to have made an ancient people advance by forced marches toward independence, health, culture, affluence, comfort.
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Gaius Julius Caesar
Gallia est omnis divisa in partres tres. (All Gaul is divided into three parts)
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