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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 180
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Theodore Roosevelt
When you play, play hard when you work, don't play at all.
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Scott Adams
We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
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Wilson Mizner
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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John Milton
How soon hath Time, the subtle thief of youth, Stolen on his wing my three-and-twentieth year
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Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Cicely, 1992
There is nothing sadder in this world than the waste of human potential. The purpose of evolution is to raise us out of the mud, not have us grovelling in it.
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Arthur W. Radford
A decision is the action an executive must take when he has information so incomplete that the answer does not suggest itself.
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German Proverb
Who begins too much accomplishes little.
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George Eliot
Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still.
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Robert Burns
Ae fond kiss, and then we severA farewell, and then foreverDeep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,While the star of hope she leaves himMe, nae cheerful twinkle lights me,Dark despair around benights me.
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Judge Judy, From her book "Beauty fades; dumb is forever."
Beauty fades; dumb is forever.
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Robin Renwick
No matter how much spin, effort, lunch or dinner you give the media, they will not fail to notice whether you have won or lost.
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Bertrand Russell
The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.
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