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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotations - 25
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Juvenal
Luxury is more deadly than any foe.
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Jimmy Cannon
Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.
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Dan Quayle
I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.
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Douglas Adams, "So Long and Thanks For All The Fish"
This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark.
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B. J. Gupta
Mahatma is one whose soul doesn't rest in peace while there are tears even in a single eye.
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Aldo Leopold
We face the question whether a still higher standard of living is worth its costs in things natural, wild, and free.
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Alfred Whitney
Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. The source of better ideas is wisdom. The surest path to wisdom is a liberal education.
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Thomas a Kempis, quoted in the LDS Church News 8/20/2005
Watch for good times to retreat into yourself. Frequently meditate on how good God is to you.
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Dwight D Eisenhower
I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.
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Albert Einstein
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
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Yiddish Proverb
Stupidities that succeed are still stupidities.
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John Dryden
Beware of the fury of the patient man.
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