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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotations - 99
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Eustache Descamps
Friends are relatives you make for yourself.
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Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.
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Scott Adams
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask Do they get smart just in time to ask questions
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Mortimer Adler
You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think.
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Henry Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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Irish Proverb
Better be quarreling than lonesome.
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Mary B. Yates
The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of mystery.
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Martin Luther
Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.
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Charles Haddon Spurgeon
I believe a very large majority of church goers are merely unthinking, slumbering worshipers of an unknown God.
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Henry David Thoreau
That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
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Luis Bunuel
I'm still an atheist, thank God.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
We should manage our fortunes as we do our health - enjoy it when good, be patient when it is bad, and never apply violent remedies except in an extreme necessity.
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