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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Quotations - 102
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Euripides
Cowards do not count in battle they are there, but not in it.
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Hannah Whitall Smith, 1907
Let me advise thee not to talk of thyself as being old. There is something in Mind Cure, after all, and if thee continually talks of thyself as being old, thee may perhaps bring on some of the infirmities of age. At least I would not risk it if I were thee.
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Jean Anouilh
Propaganda is a soft weapon hold it in your hands too long, and it will move about like a snake, and strike the other way.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Jealousy feeds upon suspicion, and it turns into fury or it ends as soon as we pass from suspicion to certainty.
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Walt Whitman
This day before dawn I ascended a hill and looked at the crowded heaven.
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Henry Ward Beecher
A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.
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Abigail Adams
We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them.
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Alfred A. Montapert
The only calendar I need is just outside my window. With eyes to see and ears to hear, nature keeps me posted.
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Jesse Louis Jackson
Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy sweat will get you change.
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Bill Nye, Interview with Wired.com, April 2005
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.
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Marcus Aelius Aurelius
Men seek out retreats for themselves in the country, by the seaside, on the moutains. . .But all this is unphilosophical to the last degree. . .when thou canst at a moment's notice retire into thyself.
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