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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Short Quotations - 16
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Marcius Porcius Cato
Those who steal from private individuals spend their lives in stocks and chains those who steal from the public treasure go dressed in gold and purple.
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Emile Coue
Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
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Samuel Butler
God cannot alter the past, but historians can.
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Woodrow Wilson
There is no higher religion than human service. To work for the common good is the greatest creed.
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David Mohler
I don't like the idea that the police department seems bent on keeping a pool of unarmed victims available for the predations of the criminal class.
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John Blake
The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.
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Ben Stein
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this decide what you want.
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Brian
Live to learn... forget... and learn again.
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Jim Beggs
Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
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Gwendolyn Brooks
Each body has its art...
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Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.
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Paul Valery
That which has been believed by everyone, always and everywhere, has every chance of being false.
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