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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotations - 76
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Heraclitus
You can never step into the same river for new waters are always flowing on to you.
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Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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Woody Allen
We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
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Aldous Huxley
Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
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Mary Wilson Little
Politeness is half good manners and half good lying.
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William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 1 scene 5
My salad days, When I was green in judgment.
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Charles Dickens
A man who could build a church, as one may say, by squinting at a sheet of paper.
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Abraham Joshua Heschel
A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.
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Ludwig van Beethoven
Never forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.
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Albert Einstein
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
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Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
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Nancy Astor
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
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