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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Short Quotations - 103
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Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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Reinhold Niebuhr
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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Michel de Montaigne
I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself.
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Epicurus
A strict belief, fate is the worst kind of slavery; on the other hand there is comfort in the thought that God will be moved by our prayers.
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Friedrich Nietzsche, The AntiChrist
The highest states of mind held up before mankind by christianity as of supreme value, are actually forms of convulsive epilepsy.
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Katharine Whitehorn
The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.
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The Dalai Lama, 1992 Speech
I believe that individuals can make a difference in society. Since periods of change such as the present one come so rarely in human history, it is up to each of us to make the best use of our time to help create a happier world.
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Jim Ryun
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
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Xenophon
The sweetest of all sounds is praise.
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Ambrose Bierce
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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Roger Baldwin
The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention.
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Bruce B. Dan
We can now prove that large numbers of Americans are dying from sitting on their behinds.
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