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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Silly Random Short Quotations - 52

Rita Rudner

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.


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Mortimer Adler

In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how many can get through to you.


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Pietro Aretino

A high heart ought to bear calamities and not flee them, since in bearing them appears the grandeur of the mind and in fleeing them the cowardice of the heart.


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Harlan Miller

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.


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Thomas Paine

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.


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David Borenstein

Bush Sr. was a jerk, Quayle an idiot, Clinton was atrocious and disgusting, most of those who persecuted him were hypocritical, Gore is shallow and weak, Bradley is an idealist, Bush Jr. a fool, and all of the independent candidates act like they're on drugs.


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Clive Staples Lewis

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.


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William Shakespeare

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.


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Bernard De Voto

Between the amateur and the professional...there is a difference not only in degree but in kind. The skillful man is, within the function of his skill, a different psychological organization...A tennis player or a watchmaker or an airplane pilot is an automatism but he is also criticism and wisdom.


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Colin Raye

And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.


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John Masefield, "Window in Bye Street", 1912

In this life he laughs longest who laughs last.


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Machiavelli, The Prince

Men are so stupid and concerned with their present needs, they will always let themselves be deceived.



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