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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotations - 159
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Albert Einstein
I do not believe in the immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern without any superhuman authority behind it.
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Lenore Hershey
Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.
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Dinesh D\'Souza
America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.
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George F. Will
Sports serve society by providing vivid examples of excellence.
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Bertrand Russell
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform.
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Steven Wright
Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture.
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Benjamin Franklin
To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.
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Victor Hugo
If a man has his throat cut in Paris, it's a murder. If '50
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John Lennon, Imagine
Imagine there’s no countries, it isn’t hard to do; nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too. Imagine all the people living life in peace.
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Arthur Balfour
Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.
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Dalton Camp
Politics is made up largely of irrelevancies.
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William Hazlitt
Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
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