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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Quotations - 188
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William Blake
If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.
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Pliny the Younger
However often you may have done them a favour, if you once refuse they forget everything except your refusal.
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Virgil
All these souls, after they have passed away a thousand years, are summoned by the divine ones in great array, to the lethean river. . .In this way they become forgetful of the former earthlife, and re-visit the vaulted realms of the world, willing to return again into living bodies.
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Peter De Vries
We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.
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Tom Waits, Blood Money interviews
I like a beautiful song that tells you terrible things. We all like bad news out of a pretty mouth.
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William Wrigley Jr.
When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
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Miguel de Cervantes
There is a time for some things, and a time for all things a time for great things, and a time for small things.
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Ron Weber
If it is too good to be true....it is probably a fraud.
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Helen Keller
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.
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Albert Einstein
If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world.
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Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
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Orrin Hatch
We're going to find out who did this and we're going after the bastards referring to the September '11
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