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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 160
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German proverb
God gives the nuts but he does not crack them.
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William Wordsworth
She was a phantom of delight When first she gleam'd upon my sight A lovely apparition, sent To be a moment's ornament.
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William Osler
The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals.
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Prophet Mohammed, Muslim
Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever is not kind has no faith.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
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Michel de Montaigne
When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind.
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Martha Beck
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
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Marcus Tullius Cicero, On Duties I
For no phase of life, whether public or private, whether in business or in the home, whether one is working on what concerns oneself alone or dealing with another, can be without its moral duty; on the discharge of such duties depends all that is morally right, and on their neglect all that is morally wrong in life.
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John F. Kennedy
...probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate alone.
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Matthew Prior, "Hans Carvel" (1701)
The ends must justify the means.
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Samuel Johnson
Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
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The Talmud
He that gives should never remember, he that receives should never forget.
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