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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Random Short Quotations - 83

Francis Keppel

Education is too important to be left solely to the educators.


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George Sand

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.


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Denis Watley

Forget about the consequences of failure. Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success.


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Tommy Lasorda, on pitcher Fernando Valenzuela

All last year we tried to teach him English, and the only word he learned was million.


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Jillian Graham, Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul

Never let a stain from the past put a mark on your future.


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Andr Malraux

And when man faces destiny, destiny ends and man comes into his own.


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George Orwell

Political language. . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.


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William Shakespeare

I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I.


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Eric Hoffer

If a society is to preserve stability and a degree of continuity, it must learn how to keep its adolescents from imposing their tastes, values, and fantasies on everyday life.


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Oscar Levant

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.


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I Ching

Creativity comes from awakening and directing men's higher natures, which originate in the primal depths of the universe and are appointed by Heaven.


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John Lyly

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.



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