|
| |
|
|
| |
A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
|
Funniest Random Short Quotations - 49
|
Oscar Wilde
True friends stab you in the front.
= = = = = = = = = =
George Bernard Shaw
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
= = = = = = = = = =
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what's wrong with little bits of cheese They probably break down into their various gases before they even hit.
= = = = = = = = = =
William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books; but love from look, toward school with heavy looks.
= = = = = = = = = =
Unknown
In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.
= = = = = = = = = =
Plato
The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant.
= = = = = = = = = =
Alfred Hitchcock
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
= = = = = = = = = =
Themistocles, from Plutarch, Lives
I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion.
= = = = = = = = = =
Brendan Francis Behan
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
= = = = = = = = = =
Laurence J. Peter
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
= = = = = = = = = =
Henry Louis Mencken
A man always blames the woman who fooled him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
= = = = = = = = = =
Mark Twain
A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
|
| |
|
<< Now check out our massive collection of funny quotations, sayings, proverbs and maxims. >>
More Funny Quotations |
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
| |
|
