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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Short Quotations - 96
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, 'Hey, have you seen Fred' And they'll say, 'Fred who' And you say, 'Fred of snakes' Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man is related to all nature.
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Eric Hoffer
The basic test of freedom is perhaps less in what we are free to do than in what we are free not to do.
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Eugene V. Debs
If it had not been for the discontent of a few fellows who had not been satisfied with their conditions, you would still be living in caves. Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization. Progress is born of agitation. It is agitation or stagnation.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violen trevolution inevitable.
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Samuel Butler
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
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Harlan Ellison
The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity.
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Aesop
It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds.
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Spiro T. Agnew
Confronted with the choice, the American people would choose the policeman's truncheon over the anarchist's bomb.
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Henri Matisse
Time extracts various values from a painter's work. When these values are exhausted the pictures are forgotten, and the more a picture has to give, the greater it is.
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Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
The more one works, the more willing one is to work.
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Hesiod
The dawn speeds a man on his journey, and speeds him too in his work.
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