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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Short Quotations - 112
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Paul Tillich, O Magazine, February 2004
The first duty of love is to listen.
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Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher regard those who think alike than those who think differently.
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Charlie Brown, Peanuts, Charles M. Schulz
Aunt Marion was right... Never marry a musician, and never answer the door.
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A. C. Benson
All the best stories are but one story in reality--the story of escape. It is the only thing which interests us all and at all times, how to escape.
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Marvin Minsky
Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.
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William Shakespeare
The trust I have is in mine innocence, and therefore am I bold and resolute.
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Francis Marion
Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree - they bear no fruit.
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Aaron Nimzovich, A shout from the chess grandmaster
How could I lose to such an idiot?
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P. Dan Wiwchar
Your brain can only absorb what your ass can endure.
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Unknown
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
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Benjamin Franklin
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
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Eden Phillpotts
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
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