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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotations - 60
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Cullen Hightower
We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.
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Helmuth von Moltke
First weigh the considerations, then take the risks.
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Danish proverb
From a fallen tree, all make kindling.
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Samuel Johnson
Of all the griefs that harass the distrest, Sure the most bitter is a scornful jest.
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Sydney Smith
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
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Anatole France
Nothing spoils a confession like repentance.
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Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
The conquest of the earth... is not a pretty thing when you look into it too much. What redeems it is the idea only... not a sentimental pretence but an idea.
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Anonymous
When money talks, nobody notices what grammar it uses.
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Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another.
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William Osler
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.
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John Adams, last words after a lifetime competing with Thomas Jefferson
Jefferson still survivies.
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Donald Robert Perry Marquis
Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
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